Oh Cersei, such a beautiful and complex woman… Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, devoted mother to the worst King ever (pardon, Your Grace), incestuous twin sister, and perpetual bitchface with cheekbones that strike envy into the hearts of women all over Westeros. The Lannisters are my favorite house of the bunch (sue me) so I was really looking forward to writing this post about the Lioness of Casterly Rock herself. If you’ve always wanted to look like a royal fancy bitch and your motto is “Hear me roar!”, this one’s for you!
You didn’t think Cersei would slap on any old cream on her delicate, wrinkle-free (bitch)face, did you? Nope, only the best for Tywin’s little lioness. I’m fairly certain that her product of choice would be Guerlain’s ultra luxe Abeille Royale day cream, which contains Pure Royal Concentrate from bees. I suppose this means royal jelly, a source of amino acids and vitamins believed to have anti-ageing properties. It costs a pretty penny, but when you’re a Lannister, gold is the least of your problems.
Speaking of Guerlain, wouldn’t this vial of Radiance Concentrate with Pure Gold look great on your vanity? I tried this 24k carat gold-flecked makeup base last week and it left my skin instantly less dry and virtually pore-less. The tiny gold particles dissolve when applying this thin serum on the face and miraculously don’t leave a shimmery finish, just smoother, hydrated skin. I also looove the bottle, so fancy.
Now that your face is all fabulously primed, how perfect is this Leo Zodiac Powder Compact from Estée Lauder? A translucent pressed powder that comes inside a golden lion case decorated with crystals, it doesn’t get more Lannister rich bitch than this! Perfect for touch-ups in between those boring council meetings and wedding feasts.
Cersei’s daytime look can be achieve with a simple Jemma Kidd glossy lipstick, Too Faced eye shadow palette and crème blush by Becca. Check out the details over at She Knows. I suggest finishing with a volumizing black mascara, like YSL Mascara Volume Effet Faux to give extra definition to that classic Cersei death-stare.
When Cersei wishes someone dead, she will let someone else do the dirty work for her. No need to get those perfectly manicured paws dirty like a commoner when you can pay someone to do it. That being said, she does have a penchant for poison. Not only did she play a role in her husband King Robert Baratheon’s untimely death, she was also ready to poison herself and her youngest son à la Magda Goebbels just before her father saved King’s Landing from Stannis. Anyway, I know what you’re thinking; less politics, more perfume! Dior Pure Poison has always been a favorite of mine and I can’t think of a more appropriate scent for Cersei than Hypnotic Poison. With notes of bitter almond, caraway spice, sambac jasmine, cinnamon, tuberose, vanilla, musk, mosses, and jucarunda wood, this is a wonderful sweet but spicy oriental. The bottle is also impossibly chic in Lannister crimson & gold.
While I’m not into celebrity fragrances at all (they’re almost always sickeningly sweet and cheap-smelling), I have to mention pop singer Katy Perry’s latest creation; Killer Queen. Admittedly the bottle looks very regal and I love the tagline “Own the throne”, which is more than a little appropriate for the Protector of the Realm. The commercial is predictably corny though so I’m not even going to link it here. The fragrance’s press release states that it’s an “intoxicating and charmingly playful floriental fragrance with luscious notes fit for royalty” with notes of wild berries and red velvet flower which could be nice or totally nauseating.
If you want to grow your hair and keep it as healthy as Cersei’s (okay, I know it’s a $7k wig), you must treat it to a weekly hair mask in order to keep it strong and moisturized. Ever since I added this step to my routine my hair has improved by leaps and bounds after I destroyed it with chemicals and heat styling (oops) a few years ago. Seriously, it went from straw to Dornish silk once I stopped the abuse, chopped the fried ends off and started using masks regularly. Enter: Kérastase Masque Elixir Ultime, the richest and most expensive of the brand’s hair masks. This fancy bitch hair treatment contains precious oils to keep your locks shiny and nourished without weighing it down. Try it, love it, never leave the Red Keep without it. Bonus points for Lannister gold packaging!
Cersei chooses to put it up in more elaborate braids for public appearances like at the wedding of her despised brother Tyrion’s to Sansa Stark, but keeps her mane long and loose in private. Here’s how you can achieve the Queen’s signature style.